“Christmas is coming, the goose is getting
fat.
Won’t you please put a penny in the old
man’s hat?
If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny
will do.
If you haven’t got a ha’penny, God Bless You!”
Christmas is coming! What could be happier than that?
The century old nursery rhyme turned
Christmas carol is filled with anticipation and the thought that the spirit of
Christmas is sharing.
I’ve known a few who face the season with
dread. They don’t like the pressure to
do more, be more, get more, buy more. They don’t like the craziness and the
self-centered nature of constantly asking children what they want to have
magically appear under the tree.
Certainly, our society from Black Friday clear through the day-after
sales gets a little crazed. The ads
exclaim that to be the “Best Christmas Ever” it needs to include diamond
jewelry or a 52” flat screen.
But it doesn’t need to be that way. Christmas at your house can be what you make
it. No matter what the neighbors or the
cousins all do. You can choose how your family will celebrate and if you enjoy
it, your children will, too. This season
is actually a golden time to help your children think about others and find joy
in sharing.
Share. Take turns. Play well with others.
Those are the Big Three social skills in
the preschool world, because those are the traits that help them become happy,
productive adults. Sharing doesn’t come
naturally to everyone, but teaching about sharing can’t start too young.
Do you have a penny for the “old man’s”
red Salvation Army kettle? Let your
children drop the coins in the kettle and take a minute to talk about how good
it feels to know that the money will be used to buy food for people who are
hungry and don’t have place to get a warm dinner.
Teach your children to share their
time. December is a wonderful time to
take your children to drop by older neighbors or aunts and uncles to take a
cookie or a song. Some preschool
children relish running to the door to knock.
Some will hide behind mom’s legs and barely peek out. It doesn’t matter, the value is the same if
you graciously greet people and model happiness in thinking of others. If it becomes a tradition that’s repeated,
their comfort level grows and they become aware of other people in a wonderful
way. It’s especially valuable if the
Christmas visit is followed up by a Valentine visit, and more.
Many people give and share at Christmas
with community projects. Choose one and include
your children. Let them have projects to
earn the quarters that they give to the shoe drive, or pick out the food, coat
or toy that will be donated. Children really do love to be helpers.
Share enough that your children know you
really do believe in it. Kids see what
you do and know what you value. Parents
are the ones who usually throw the fuel on the fire when it comes to children
and excess. It’s fun to be a hero and
give your child the best, shiniest and grandest, ignoring the credit card bill
that will come later. And those 17
minutes of glory aren’t worth it, and create a monster that forever more must
be fed. How do you keep up the pattern that this year must yet again be “the
best Christmas ever”?
Consider
making it a tradition at your house that Santa brings each child one present
and not everything in the catalog that a child wants. And then Mom and Dad can give a present, too
if they want. But it calms down the
notion that a child should ask for all the grand stuff in the world because
Santa is magic and the stuff comes for free, after all.
Sharing isn’t free. It takes money and time, which are usually in
short supply. It takes a good attitude
to really teach children about sharing so they want to do it again, and that
can be a challenge as this season, too.
But helping your children learn to share is a gift that will bring them
joy forever.
© Diane L.
Mangum 2012