Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holidays. Show all posts

Monday, January 25, 2016

Best Christmas Ever


Several of my children had the same wonderful first grade teacher, Mrs. Coleman.  Each December she would put a sign outside her door that read:  "The best gift you can give your children is your time."

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Television commercials and toy catalogs bombard us with advice on great things to buy that will make this year the best Christmas ever.  In many years of mothering, I only once heard a child use the expression, "This is the best Christmas ever." As I tucked my little brown-haired boy into bed on a Christmas night quite a few years ago, his eyes sparkled and he sighed as he said, "This is the best Christmas ever."  When I asked him what had made it so wonderful, he answered, "Because this year I finally got a hamster."  You're not going to see that in a commercial.

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When I asked my college age daughter about her favorite Christmas memories, she gave me this list:  Grandma's homemade suckers, Grandpa's pink peppermint candies, hot rolls and kids running in circles around Grandma's house, the family Nativity program with baby Jesus in the doll bed, Christmas morning casserole and hot cinnamon rolls, lots of cousins, and two Christmas Eve dinners, one at each Grandmother's house.  There wasn't a single toy included in her list of memories, but there was lots of food.  Maybe we can amend Mrs. Coleman's list to include sharing good food as well as time as being good gifts for children.
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There was a time at our house when the children wanted to get up on Christmas morning much earlier than the parents wanted to get up.  Much, much earlier.  So we instituted a 7 a.m. rule.  Children weren't to come and get parents up on Christmas morning until at least seven.  Jennie reports that she remembers several years being so excited that she and her brother woke up very early and they sat and read Calvin and Hobbes comic books together until seven finally came.  

One year they got up early and sat in the living room reading so long that they fell asleep again on the floor.  Suddenly Jennie awoke, screaming that the burglars were coming in and she ran and jumped in bed with mom and dad.  We got up to investigate and found the noise was the morning newspaper that had thumped against the front door as it was delivered.  It was almost time to get up anyway.

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Giving and getting are both important parts of life.  This is a wonderful, stressful, delightful, demanding time of year.  Talk to your children about both aspects of the holiday.  Help them plan some little gifts to give.  It is a wonderful feeling to give something that is opened with delight by the receiver.  Let your children feel that part of Christmas, too.

The stores are coaxing us.  Radio announcers cajole us.  Television tries to lure us.  “Make this the best Christmas ever,” they all say.  What they mean is “Buy my stuff. “  Parents of young children should know that in twenty years, those expensive toys that they stood in line all morning to buy may not even be remembered.  It’s the things families do together that make lasting memories.   My advice:  buy a hamster, help your children make cookies to give the neighbors, and let the kids run circles at Grandma’s house.


 © Diane Mangum

Calming Down Christmas

     “Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat.
     Won’t you please put a penny in the old man’s hat?
     If you haven’t got a penny, a ha’penny will do.
     If you haven’t got a ha’penny, God Bless You!”

     Christmas is coming!  What could be happier than that? 
     The century old nursery rhyme turned Christmas carol is filled with anticipation and the thought that the spirit of Christmas is sharing. 

     I’ve known a few who face the season with dread.  They don’t like the pressure to do more, be more, get more, buy more. They don’t like the craziness and the self-centered nature of constantly asking children what they want to have magically appear under the tree.  Certainly, our society from Black Friday clear through the day-after sales gets a little crazed.  The ads exclaim that to be the “Best Christmas Ever” it needs to include diamond jewelry or a 52” flat screen.

     But it doesn’t need to be that way.  Christmas at your house can be what you make it.  No matter what the neighbors or the cousins all do. You can choose how your family will celebrate and if you enjoy it, your children will, too.  This season is actually a golden time to help your children think about others and find joy in sharing.

     Share. Take turns. Play well with others.
     Those are the Big Three social skills in the preschool world, because those are the traits that help them become happy, productive adults.  Sharing doesn’t come naturally to everyone, but teaching about sharing can’t start too young.

     Do you have a penny for the “old man’s” red Salvation Army kettle?  Let your children drop the coins in the kettle and take a minute to talk about how good it feels to know that the money will be used to buy food for people who are hungry and don’t have place to get a warm dinner.

     Teach your children to share their time.  December is a wonderful time to take your children to drop by older neighbors or aunts and uncles to take a cookie or a song.  Some preschool children relish running to the door to knock.  Some will hide behind mom’s legs and barely peek out.  It doesn’t matter, the value is the same if you graciously greet people and model happiness in thinking of others.  If it becomes a tradition that’s repeated, their comfort level grows and they become aware of other people in a wonderful way.  It’s especially valuable if the Christmas visit is followed up by a Valentine visit, and more. 

     Many people give and share at Christmas with community projects.  Choose one and include your children.  Let them have projects to earn the quarters that they give to the shoe drive, or pick out the food, coat or toy that will be donated. Children really do love to be helpers.

     Share enough that your children know you really do believe in it.  Kids see what you do and know what you value.  Parents are the ones who usually throw the fuel on the fire when it comes to children and excess.  It’s fun to be a hero and give your child the best, shiniest and grandest, ignoring the credit card bill that will come later.  And those 17 minutes of glory aren’t worth it, and create a monster that forever more must be fed. How do you keep up the pattern that this year must yet again be “the best Christmas ever”?

     Consider making it a tradition at your house that Santa brings each child one present and not everything in the catalog that a child wants.  And then Mom and Dad can give a present, too if they want.  But it calms down the notion that a child should ask for all the grand stuff in the world because Santa is magic and the stuff comes for free, after all.

     Sharing isn’t free.  It takes money and time, which are usually in short supply.  It takes a good attitude to really teach children about sharing so they want to do it again, and that can be a challenge as this season, too.  But helping your children learn to share is a gift that will bring them joy forever.


© Diane L. Mangum 2012